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NiKkI's Journal

Thursday, February 5, 2004


Tairrie B
You are Tairrie B, of My Ruin! You love religious
things, tattoos, and hardcore rock.

--What Rock Star(s) are you?--
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: busy

(10 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

3:38AM - A new Nancy Sinatra Obsession

Ok, i hate my computer.
i tried postin 3 days ago, and the fuking thing had the incorrect time and erased everything and i just sat here for a half hour and it did the same thing, so i am going to elaborate in short now.
My art show made me realize just how much i hate people and their malicious, evil, petty, greedy, gluttony. but i DID sell a painting so that made me happy. see me smile?
Saw kill bill today. so fuking good!!! im glad to see a good piece of cinema to hit the theatres again. my next venture is texas chainsaw and house of the dead. great soundtrack too. got lost in a mall. for real. can you believe that?
i miss timb. i need to talk to him about some things. i hope hes having a great time in japan. i am sure he is though. if you read this come home and movie nite. i have house of 1000 corpses a good copy actually because my boi bought it and a dvd player for me. i dont know how i got this one. and especially kept him. last nite i realized a lot of things about myself and my relationship. he's very good to me. sometimes too good. last nite i actually turned myself off when i didnt even realize how much on i was.shut up, it makes sense to me. i think i knew most of these things subconciously, but they finally showed themselves to me.
its like you want to better yourself with the things that you learned, but sometimes you just cant let things from the past let you be the person that you want or were. and some people will just never leave your life. sometimes its very frustrating, with a sense of comfort.
i now ihave 3 jobs....god. one of them we havent started (once again why my boi is so good) and i go to one of them tomorrow for the first time. which i am very excited about.
and lastly, here are some pics from my sat. this is what i do when my job wants to pay me to go to clubs to promote and drink...hehehe...

Current mood: touched

(9 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003


o my goodness... this was soooo sweet....someone sent this to me about
a picture that i have posted on my site.... this isnt a full translation, but its
close from french to engish

"I want to awaken to your magnificent day of eyes and endors in your each soft knees harms alone. you this that did wants to live me, especially when the things do not go well. I think that you are the most beautiful one of creations of God and than you must keep this removed hammer of these teeth my lover."

(KisS Me)


well well well...
life has been pretty ok and somewhat mediocre at times.
i DID happen to go to the 2 dollar bill show for
Ludicris, Methodman and DMX the other nite. that was
interesting, interacting with another species.
thank god fuking skool is over for a week!!!! plan for the
week... drink, paint, paint, drink, go out, sleep, drink,
paint, sleep, go out... i am ever so fuking excited to let
myself out to play again.
i just got another oppurtunity to put my stuff up at a gallery,
so thats all the painting... that makes me happy too.
life will be good, fun and relaxing again for a few weeks.

(1 Vampire bytE | KisS Me)

Saturday, August 30, 2003


<td bgcolor="#000000">Your band name is:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">The Sound, The Silhouette</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">You sound like:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Mae</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">You will be signed to:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Jive Records</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your emo lyrics are:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">"I like you, but you don't like me, can it get anymore obvious"</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Username:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr>
What is your emo band name? by spiralinghalo
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

::start note::
i am freaking out. its 630 am, im still packing. i have a meeting with my manager at 10. im gonna die. everything has gone wrong. stuff
started getting fixed slowly but surely. now im just hating everything.
once again, i dont know what im doing. i dont know whats going on. and
by the way things have been going, i think that i am putting myself in
a bad situation thats gonna wind up getting me fucked over again b/c im
trying to help someone that i dont think can even fix themselves. i really
hope that i am wrong on this one.
::end note::

Current mood: sleepy

(5 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Monday, August 25, 2003


OH MY! *meep*

gay girl

You Do It Like a Gay Girl

Even if you're not a girl's girl, you act like one.

You tend to form deep, long lasting loves…

And after you've gazed into one another's souls

The battery operated sex follows!

Straight or Gay? Guy or Girl? Who Do You Do it Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

oh yes, and i dont think you people asked enough questions from my last post.

Current mood: irate

(3 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Friday, August 22, 2003

3:49AM - i would defintely like some feedback on this...

I stole this from lollirot's journal b/c i thought it would make a
very entertaining response.

Ask me something very personal about my past.
Or anything at all that you wanted to know...
go ahead, I dare ya.

(11 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

5:40PM - and yet another one...

how true....2 for 2....

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

(KisS Me)


god forsaken holy jesus!!
could there BE any worse way for me to die!?!?
at least i wont be that old.

<td bgcolor="#000000">Username</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Die on</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">May 28, 2029</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Die of</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Shark Attack </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Value of Estate:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">$208,357</td></tr>
DeathDay 2.0 by quill18
Created with quill18</a>'s MemeGen!

Current mood: scared

(3 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Saturday, August 16, 2003


running on about 4.5 hours of sleep and i have been awake for
18 hours... now getting ready to go to busch gardens...
this is going to be an adventure.

Current mood: tired

(KisS Me)

Friday, August 15, 2003

4:00PM - nowhere

im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of hate, i want to kill.
im full of strees, i want to die.
im full of stress, i want to die.
im full of stress, i want to die.

Current mood: insane

(3 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Tuesday, August 12, 2003


... i am so tired... so stressed... so ill...
can we please stop playing this game now?

i cant wait till i move my apt ... i cant wait until i start my job at the
new location... i cant wait until skool is over...
i cant wait till i can go dancing and drinking again... i cant wait till
i can go to sleep... i cant wait until im done with these stupid projects...
i cant wait until i get paid more money... i cant wait for my cousin to
come down... i cant wait until i get my muscles relieved tonite... i cant
wait until im sitting on the couch watching midsummer night dream...
i cant wait until i dont have to deal with this stupid bitch teacher who
thinks only her opinion is what makes good art nemore...

i am going to start a mass suicide cult..."the 27th entry"... we will all
drink REAL absinthe and fly with the fairies...

Current mood: irritated

(5 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Sunday, August 10, 2003

4:36PM - i dont know where this came from....

I am very happy with the way that things turned out last nite. I threw together a birthday party for him within 2 weeks. I was very nervous when it became 830 and still noone was there, but then by 9... we had a pretty nice crowd. I was afraid that everything was going to fuck up and i was going to fail miserabely. But it didnt. Nikki was our bartender for the nite and she actually did a good job and got tips out of some people. I stayed out of the way so that he could soak in whatever was going on and oh my god! take a hit!! I met some pretty kool people and had good conversation. I have noticed that whenever i get into conversation in an alcoholic setting, it always winds up finding its way to religion, art or sharing life stories. I like hearing about other people's lives, me being the observer that I am. Lately i have been becoming quieter than usual.Not really quieter, but less overwhelming to others. I have not routed the reason yet, but I am ok with this. Mabey were subconciously starting to do the switching qualities thing...i am not sure if i am completely ok with this. sometimes being comfortable makes me as nervous as it is bliss.

1) What's on your bedside table? apicture of me and my unkle at his wedding, a pic of me and my cousin and lots o sunglasses
2) What's the geekiest part of your music collection? love n rockets
3) What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? pretzles n ice tea
4) What is your secret guaranteed weeping film? great expectations
5) If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? collagen? injected into my lips
6) Do you have a completely irrational fear? since i was like 12 i always feel that there are cameras behind mirrors taping me
7) What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? humming
8) Do you ever have to beg? im the one who gets to direct ; )~
9) Do you have too many love interests? i keep it to one at a time
10) Do you know anyone famous? unless locals count, im not kool enough
11) Describe your bed. leopard print sheets with lots of stuffed animals and a ghetto ass canopy made by mwah....
12) Spontaneous or plan? depends on the situation
13) Who should play you in a movie about your life? christina ricci... she would look hot with short red hair too... mmmmm....
14) Do you know how to play poker? yes
15) What do you carry with you at all times? my bag and the thousand things that i dont need in it.
16) How do you drive? better than you fuckers
17) What do you miss most about being little? my innocence
18) Are you happy with your given name? yes, i have 3 names w/in the one name that come with different personalities to go with each....that makes me gangsta
19) What was the last song you were listening to? placebo something rotten
20) Have you ever been in a school play? they were never privledged enough to get me
21) Have you ever been in love? ..... i find it sad if you haven't ....
22) Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? on the outside all the time... on the inside most of the time.
23) Have you ever done any illegal drugs? keep it to yourself
24) Do you think you're cute? if i said no, i would be lying ::courtseys::
25) Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? i am polite, nice only comes to those who deserve it.

Current mood: content

(1 Vampire bytE | KisS Me)

Wednesday, August 6, 2003


so since everyone has done this... so will i...
Edward Scissorhands from Edward Scissorhands
Edward Scissorhands:
Charming, innocent, and beautiful. Unfortunately,
he has blades for fingers. But hey, you can
get around that, you're all set.

Which Johnny Depp character is your ideal mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

and because i am me...

You like it fast and strong and you drink for one reason: to get piss-ass drunk!
Congratulations!! You're a shot of some good old
hard liquor!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: happy

(1 Vampire bytE | KisS Me)

Tuesday, August 5, 2003


and strange obsession draws a silence over the crowd
as yet another realization has been made.

Current mood: contemplative

(5 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Saturday, August 2, 2003


Bizarro BoisCollapse )

Current mood: happy

(4 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Monday, July 28, 2003


Here we go again...
i have been procrastinating and shrug off the facts that are going on around me just so that i dont get stressed about it, but it is coming to the end very very soon and it's all hitting me at once. Again, I am ok, but this life shit sucks. I have been working and going to school without a day off, and doing both on the same day. Like today. mondays suck. I was almost late to class again b/c of the fact that I spent all my nite drinking with a bunch of people a my house. yea, its fun and i like these people, but its very subconciously self destructive. i am just dealing with alot of stuff that ive been pushing into the back of my brain. i am really nervous that my cousin isnt going to come down, not to fuck me over, but b/c of her situation and not being able to come due to circumstances beyond her control. I have to find an apartment, save the apartment, finding another roommate on top of her and move all my shit within a month. ::deep sigh:: so while i was venting, both amie and derek said that if i needed a place to stay that me AND MY KITTIES could stay with them. which would be really good. I wouldnt want to stay with either one of them for very long considering that amie is married and lives closer, but still kinda far from skool, and derek lives with his parents. but to do that for a month or so would
A) buy me time and
B) allow me to save anywhere from 600 - 800 to help me with me moving.
i still have to talk to alex about this, but i want to know if she wants more time. if not, then tomorrow i am starting my apt hunt. well, wed. b/c tomorrow i have an interview to try to become an art teacher for 1st - 5th graders. so much fun!! im also trying to become a muralist for this company. i need to have a game plan of what i am going to be teaching by tomorrow and a portfolio put together by tonite to email out by tomorrow. did i mention that ive been up since 10 after going to sleep at 6 in the morning and after this class in fort lauderdale at 5 i need to be back in south beach by 6 to work till 1... and we wonder why nikki is completely comfortable with having a nervous breakdown once every 3 motnhs or so.
soooo.... i will keep on my smile, straighten my hair and get ready to...to start going again....

Current mood: artistic

(6 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Monday, July 21, 2003


well, i have not been on this thing forever!
so... heres an update. i go home for 2 weeks... have lots of fun. good people good times. got to see placebo. sooooo good!!! i realized and dealt with alot of differnt issues while i was home, and now i feel like a better person b/c of it. i cant wait to move back home in a year or 2. or at least back up north. my other option is philly b/c thats where my skool is. but its not now, so i dont really need to worry about it just yet. i come home, and because he knew that i was going to be depressed coming back here, we go to orlando n go to islands of adventure. i start skool. i start working twice as much as i was before. i see krztov. i go out. i saw timb have a one man show and wow! was that awesome! good job you old boi! i start freaking out about the fact that my cousin is supposedly coming here to move in with me in 2 weeks and she still hasnt talked to her aunt. i am giving myself about 6 other options to this scenario but all i can do is wait. damn it! i went to dawn's goodbye party b/c she is leaving on fri, but i dont have to say goodbye until tomorrow b/c i get to stay with them tomorrow nite. it is going to be sad. so last nite i get ridiculously drunk with timb off rummplemints and i missed skool today b/c of it, which i am pretty pissed about. and that is my up to date story.

Current mood: pissed off

(7 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

4:12PM - penis envy

The boi that I never got the chance to be.

my love and inspiration

on tues my love....tues....

i always thought that this would be my last time around. that after this death, i would have learned all my lessons to evolve but i have well thought out and quickly changed that opinion. i must come back one more time as a boi so that i can fully understand it all. and this is the boi i would be like undoubtabley

Current mood: envious

(3 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

Saturday, June 21, 2003


the newest addition to my paintings.... it is from a dream i had a week or so ago... do you like it?

Current mood: awake

(10 Vampire bytEs | KisS Me)

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